So, I met the boy
We met for dinner on Tuesday night. I got to the restaurant about five minutes early and he was already there. When I approached the table, he didn’t stand to greet me. And the first couple of minutes were awkward. I felt like he was oddly defensive. Sure, we were meeting because I asked him why did he cheat on me, but to have been the cheater in the situation, I felt like his defensiveness was out of place.
We caught up on the easy things first: his dog, his mom, and his beehives. Then, we got into it. He thought that I had sent text messages to the other women outing him. I assured him I had not. I don’t think he believed me, but the truth is I didn’t do it. I really don’t know what he was talking about.
I still don’t believe 95% of what he says. When I asked him, why was I not enough for him, he used it to tell me why he thought we weren’t a good match. He listed our political differences first and then the fact that I had money and he doesn’t as another reason. Besides the fact that was not what I had asked, I thought it was interesting that he brought up those two points as the reasons why we were no longer together.
The longer we sat there, the more I realized how sad of a person he is —he really has no one. He’s alienated everyone in his life except for one high school friend, and one beekeeper friend. He doesn’t speak to his son and hasn’t even met his grandchildren. Since he doesn’t work, he has nothing to do during the days.
We were cordial and he apologized several times for cheating on me. He claims he was trying to disentangle himself from the other women to just be with me. I’m surprised he couldn’t hear the laughter inside my head at that. He paid for dinner and I didn’t offer. We walked out of the restaurant together and hugged. He said something vague like “let me know if you ever wanna get together.” It struck me odd that he would say something like that, but it was an awkward situation and I wondered if it was a filler comment.
The next day, it crossed my mind to text him thank you for the dinner, but I thought better of it and did not.
This morning I got a text from him at 7:20 asking what did I like to get at my favorite breakfast place here in town. (Remember, he lives 45 minutes away.) I didn’t see the text when it came in because I was getting ready to go to the gynecologist’s office for an 8am appointment. By the time I saw the text, I was at the doctor’s office and he had texted me a picture of the front of the restaurant and said that what he had gotten was good and that had I gotten up earlier, maybe I could’ve joined him.
I think he’s bored and I think he thinks that my contacting him again was an effort to start something up again. Sitting in front of him on Tuesday night, I realized I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore. Add to that, I don’t trust him and it would take a hell of a lot of verification that I don’t think he’s willing to do for me to even consider hanging out with him again.
John and I had both been cheaters in previous relationships. The way we started to trust each other was that we each had access to the other person’s emails and phone at any given time. I think Hank is squirrelly enough that he wouldn’t ever want that amount of access to his personal stuff.
All in all, I didn’t get exactly what I wanted from meeting him again, but I wasn’t completely disappointed either. The reason I cheated on Lee, my first husband, was that I was bored, and I knew that there was something more out there. I took that mindset and thought that Hank would have a reason why he cheated on me, but I think it’s just that he wanted the attention and love and affection and didn’t know any other way to get it. He’s just a sad little man.
We caught up on the easy things first: his dog, his mom, and his beehives. Then, we got into it. He thought that I had sent text messages to the other women outing him. I assured him I had not. I don’t think he believed me, but the truth is I didn’t do it. I really don’t know what he was talking about.
I still don’t believe 95% of what he says. When I asked him, why was I not enough for him, he used it to tell me why he thought we weren’t a good match. He listed our political differences first and then the fact that I had money and he doesn’t as another reason. Besides the fact that was not what I had asked, I thought it was interesting that he brought up those two points as the reasons why we were no longer together.
The longer we sat there, the more I realized how sad of a person he is —he really has no one. He’s alienated everyone in his life except for one high school friend, and one beekeeper friend. He doesn’t speak to his son and hasn’t even met his grandchildren. Since he doesn’t work, he has nothing to do during the days.
We were cordial and he apologized several times for cheating on me. He claims he was trying to disentangle himself from the other women to just be with me. I’m surprised he couldn’t hear the laughter inside my head at that. He paid for dinner and I didn’t offer. We walked out of the restaurant together and hugged. He said something vague like “let me know if you ever wanna get together.” It struck me odd that he would say something like that, but it was an awkward situation and I wondered if it was a filler comment.
The next day, it crossed my mind to text him thank you for the dinner, but I thought better of it and did not.
This morning I got a text from him at 7:20 asking what did I like to get at my favorite breakfast place here in town. (Remember, he lives 45 minutes away.) I didn’t see the text when it came in because I was getting ready to go to the gynecologist’s office for an 8am appointment. By the time I saw the text, I was at the doctor’s office and he had texted me a picture of the front of the restaurant and said that what he had gotten was good and that had I gotten up earlier, maybe I could’ve joined him.
I think he’s bored and I think he thinks that my contacting him again was an effort to start something up again. Sitting in front of him on Tuesday night, I realized I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore. Add to that, I don’t trust him and it would take a hell of a lot of verification that I don’t think he’s willing to do for me to even consider hanging out with him again.
John and I had both been cheaters in previous relationships. The way we started to trust each other was that we each had access to the other person’s emails and phone at any given time. I think Hank is squirrelly enough that he wouldn’t ever want that amount of access to his personal stuff.
All in all, I didn’t get exactly what I wanted from meeting him again, but I wasn’t completely disappointed either. The reason I cheated on Lee, my first husband, was that I was bored, and I knew that there was something more out there. I took that mindset and thought that Hank would have a reason why he cheated on me, but I think it’s just that he wanted the attention and love and affection and didn’t know any other way to get it. He’s just a sad little man.