fatesfolly: (Default)
2025-04-24 10:32 pm

So, I met the boy

We met for dinner on Tuesday night. I got to the restaurant about five minutes early and he was already there. When I approached the table, he didn’t stand to greet me. And the first couple of minutes were awkward. I felt like he was oddly defensive. Sure, we were meeting because I asked him why did he cheat on me, but to have been the cheater in the situation, I felt like his defensiveness was out of place.

We caught up on the easy things first: his dog, his mom, and his beehives. Then, we got into it. He thought that I had sent text messages to the other women outing him. I assured him I had not. I don’t think he believed me, but the truth is I didn’t do it. I really don’t know what he was talking about.

I still don’t believe 95% of what he says. When I asked him, why was I not enough for him, he used it to tell me why he thought we weren’t a good match. He listed our political differences first and then the fact that I had money and he doesn’t as another reason. Besides the fact that was not what I had asked, I thought it was interesting that he brought up those two points as the reasons why we were no longer together.

The longer we sat there, the more I realized how sad of a person he is —he really has no one. He’s alienated everyone in his life except for one high school friend, and one beekeeper friend. He doesn’t speak to his son and hasn’t even met his grandchildren. Since he doesn’t work, he has nothing to do during the days.

We were cordial and he apologized several times for cheating on me. He claims he was trying to disentangle himself from the other women to just be with me. I’m surprised he couldn’t hear the laughter inside my head at that. He paid for dinner and I didn’t offer. We walked out of the restaurant together and hugged. He said something vague like “let me know if you ever wanna get together.” It struck me odd that he would say something like that, but it was an awkward situation and I wondered if it was a filler comment.

The next day, it crossed my mind to text him thank you for the dinner, but I thought better of it and did not.

This morning I got a text from him at 7:20 asking what did I like to get at my favorite breakfast place here in town. (Remember, he lives 45 minutes away.) I didn’t see the text when it came in because I was getting ready to go to the gynecologist’s office for an 8am appointment. By the time I saw the text, I was at the doctor’s office and he had texted me a picture of the front of the restaurant and said that what he had gotten was good and that had I gotten up earlier, maybe I could’ve joined him.

I think he’s bored and I think he thinks that my contacting him again was an effort to start something up again. Sitting in front of him on Tuesday night, I realized I didn’t have any feelings for him anymore. Add to that, I don’t trust him and it would take a hell of a lot of verification that I don’t think he’s willing to do for me to even consider hanging out with him again.

John and I had both been cheaters in previous relationships. The way we started to trust each other was that we each had access to the other person’s emails and phone at any given time. I think Hank is squirrelly enough that he wouldn’t ever want that amount of access to his personal stuff.

All in all, I didn’t get exactly what I wanted from meeting him again, but I wasn’t completely disappointed either. The reason I cheated on Lee, my first husband, was that I was bored, and I knew that there was something more out there. I took that mindset and thought that Hank would have a reason why he cheated on me, but I think it’s just that he wanted the attention and love and affection and didn’t know any other way to get it. He’s just a sad little man.
fatesfolly: (Default)
2025-04-21 10:21 pm

(no subject)

So spring has sprung.

I spent eight days in Orlando and came home late Friday night. I’m still under the microscope at work so I knew that I had to be on my game so the week before I went for an infusion of B12 and something called NAD. It was all supposed to help with energy and alertness and memory. Blah blah blah. I think it worked a little bit, but it was not worth the price. The meetings went well and as has become the case, I come home exhausted.

I went to Greenville on Saturday and celebrated Easter and a delayed birthday with Amanda and Mandy. Yesterday I spent most of the morning at church. We have two services on Easter Sunday. The 9 o’clock was shoulder to shoulder and we had to add chairs in the aisle. The 11 o’clock was full, but not quite as full the 9 o’clock. I came home and sat in the backyard for a bit with Jane and Sandy, and then stayed up too late last night finishing off the show The Pitt on Max.

I took today off as part of the comp time from the extra hours I worked last week. Jane had given me to camellia bushes for my birthday, and I needed to get them into the ground. I started with breakfast and then went to Lowe’s to get some topsoil. It was back breaking work, removing the old monkey grass that was not thriving and then planting the cammelias. I didn’t want the old monkey grass so after trying to get as much dirt knocked off from around the roots, I threw the clumps into the trashcan. Earlier in the weekend I had thrown away some expired diet colas so the trashcan was very heavy. When I went to roll it back into place, a tripped, and with enough momentum, I ended up headfirst into the trashcan and face first into the clumps of grass and dirt. Dirt was everywhere. I bent my glasses and cut my face where the glasses pressed into my cheekbone. I twisted my ankle, and I scuffed my knees and the palms of my hands. I had planned to get cleaned up from the outside work and do some inside cleaning, but instead, I showered, took some Aleve and laid on the couch all afternoon.

It’s really bothered me about the guy cheating on me last summer. I don’t know why. I’ve been a cheater myself and didn’t really examine it too much with John. I never cheated and I thought my cheating days were behind me but again it’s been really on my mind. Period.

So I was at dinner in Orlando last Saturday night halfway through my second glass of wine and I was thinking about the guy who cheated on me last summer and wondering for the thousandth time, “why.”

So I texted him “why did you cheat on me?”

I didn’t hear anything until Monday morning when I got a text that says something like “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is Hank‘s mother; we traded phones.” She and I texted briefly and she suggested I email him so I did.

Long story short, we’re meeting for dinner tomorrow night. I don’t want to get back with him, but curiosity is killing me about why and I want to hear his story and either be entertained by it or get thoroughly pissed off. A friend I confided in about it thinks it’s a bad idea to meet. I believe I’m going in with my eyes wide open, my heart closed and a defined deadline of an end to the date because I have to pick up the friend at 9 o’clock.

So we’ll see.
fatesfolly: (Default)
2025-03-12 11:01 pm

Not a lot going on

I’m getting ready for a busy 2 weeks with me being on the road 14 out of 16 days and then we’re into April with the weekends full of pre-wedding activities (my nephew) and Easter.

Got a hitch mounted on my car last week so I can carry my bike to some local trails. The bike is in the shop now and I pick it up tomorrow.

I’ve lost somewhere around 20-25 pounds. Since I didn’t own a scale, it’s hard to know where I started. A friend was doing the 200 calories every hour thing and I tried it. It mostly seems to be working. And I still work with a personal trainer 2 times a week, but I did take the contract down to 30 minutes with her and 30 minutes on my own doing cardio. As my knees get stronger, I’ll do more.

I have a consult for my other knee for possible meniscus tear on 3/31. An MRI will tell us definitively and I’ll know more about whether I’ll go the surgery route or not.

A new (since I moved here) close friend was diagnosed with cancer a couple of weeks ago. I vacillate between having PTSD and trying to be there for him. Right after the diagnosis, I visited everyday. He went to UNC today and he was cryptic in his text tonight on how severe it is. Interesting enough, it’s a HPV+ cancer… HPV was never mentioned growing up and I guess I’m lucky to have never gotten it or cleared it already. (The std tests last fall showed I am clear of everything.) I see profiles on the dating site sometimes when a guy will say he is HPV+… interesting that he would admit to it in a dating profile. My friend is a gay man and he’s done his fair share of seething about which partner may have infected him.

Speaking of dating, 2025 is not my year. I’ve been stood up, had dates and not been called back, and plain told by a couple of guys after the first date that they were not interested. And despite having subscriptions to three dating sites, I gave them up for Lent, mostly to see if my mental health improves by stepping away. I feel like I’ve cried over men more in 2025 than I have in my entire life. Are there any nunneries hiring?
fatesfolly: (Default)
2024-01-21 11:50 pm

Soooooo…

What’s happened since my last post?

Ha! I got dumped by psycho. It hurt and I know it was the right thing to happen, but it still sucked ass.

He left me crying on Saturday and I went out with a new guy on Thursday. What is it? The best way to get over someone …. Well, yeah, that happened, too.

New guy is also a Navy vet. What. Am I going through the 7th Fleet?

New guy is nicer. New guy is cute. New guy has ptsd and some memory issues from a blast in Iraq. New guy is a diver and a local dive instructor so if I play my cards right, I might have a new hobby in 2024? New guy doesn’t push my buttons like psycho, but he’s not bad at all. Despite the first date sex thing, we are taking it slow if for no other reason than his travels to Florida for winter diving, my work trips, and my Covid.

Yeah, I have Covid. I went to Raleigh to help take care of Mandy and help Amanda who travels regularly and the day of Mandy’s surgery, we were at the hospital and I started feeling crappy. We all were wearing masks, thankfully. That night, I felt horrible and Mandy asked if I had a fever. I felt like I did and when I got back to their house, I tested and I had it. It was 9pm and too late to drive the 3 hours back home so I got up the next morning and drove home.

Usually, I can make the trip without stopping and the one time I have Covid, I stopped 3 times…. Once for gas, once for caffeine because I was falling asleep behind the wheel and once to pee out the caffeine! Always masked and with my head down.

This is my second time with Covid and the first with Paxlovid. As they say, I now know what Satan’s asshole tastes like. Friday was the worst…. Bad headache, severe cold symptoms, fever. Armed with the Paxlovid, Mucinex D, Tylenol, and Flonase, I’m now golden.

Next Saturday, I take a concealed carry class. No, I’m not joining the ranks of the red down here in Hicksville, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m hiding something when I want to shoot something like paper targets for a hobby. Plus, the class will be an exercise in holding my tongue.

Next trip is in 2 weeks to MA.

I can return to circulating among the living in public after Wednesday.
fatesfolly: (Default)
2023-07-27 12:16 am

Midnight ramblings

Call me Elvis. I’m up at night and sleep during the day.

Ozempic has been largely a fail. I titrated up to .5 mg over 3 or 4 weeks and was SICK AS A DOG for 2.5 weeks. Weak as dishwater, nauseated to the point of not wanting to crawl out of bed, and diarrhea like I’ve never seen. I tried .25 mg again last week and the nausea has been lower but I just don’t feel good. I see that doc again next week.

On the other hand, I did see a doctor about upping my depression meds. I’ve been on Effexor since 2018 or so for a female hormonal imbalance and the more recent feelings of sadness and hopelessness have not gotten better.

I finally got in for the very expensive breast MRI and although the lump or whatever is benign, they found gall stones. The ever helpful surgeon’s office who originally said she could operate or I could go for the breast MRI called 2 weeks after the MRI and told me the results (that I had already downloaded from the imaging center) and (non) helpfully offered to schedule me for a gall stone removal surgery for the fall. Ummmmm…. No thanks. I think I’ll wait until I’m employed.

And Mama Menopause is fucking with me again. A brief period in September 2022, then nothing until February 2023. Then, 2 Saturdays ago, hello blood flow from no where! It’s been a trickle for the 2 weeks and then yesterday and today, it has been a firehose. Night sweats continue with no rhyme or reason when they happen… not tied to diet, temperature of room, outside temps, nothing. And I have this weird sour smelling odor on my upper body that I’ve finally been able to stop by showering in Hibiclens once a week.

Ok, so what’s good?

My plants are doing ok.

I’ve got a decent tan.

I’m taking advantage of streaming services and enjoying shit on tv.

I like my new vacuum cleaner.

Mercifully, my air condition works.

That’s all for now. Just restless and ill and out of sorts.
fatesfolly: (Default)
2023-06-14 12:08 pm

Grief Can'ts

There are certain things I cannot do since John died. Some things are known upfront; others hit my like a ton of bricks.

On the bright (?) side, there have been many surprising cans: I sold his guns tout de suite. I sold his truck to a friend so it's still kinda in the family. I dated and had sex, but my heart still belongs to John. I moved to NC. I quiet quit my job and then was fired and have been living off savings. I'm seeing a therapist I love so much that I want to find another one to be this one's friend.

Here are the can'ts

Known:
-Watch the two home improvement shows we watched when he was in hospice that he remarked that the couples who were the hosts reminded him of us. And I love those shows!

-Unpack his travel messenger bag that had everything that I'd always forget. It's orange and ugly and beautiful all at the same time. When we met, he used a fanny pack for travel that I somehow wrestled out of his possession over time and this large orange messenger bag was the compromise. It's upstairs in a closet and when I go in the closet, I warily spy it like a worthy adversary.

One oddly surprising can't:

-I was watching a movie or show last week where the actor was receiving chemo. The setting was so much like the one where John had received his that it took me back to those days where dread and hope mixed like a cocktail of bile and Pepto. Tears immediately fell.



I still miss him to my core. I switched to an iphone in December and it has an uncanny way of featuring photos of John from my camera roll that I forget about. I click on the picture to find out when it was taken and enlarge it to try to remember where we were or what we were feeling when the photo was taken. This activity turns into a rabbit hole that takes at least a half hour... all from one stupid beautiful photo.




Oh, and the guy I dated/am dating? He's fallen head over heels and I started feeling suffocated. I've always wanted to try to remain friends with exes and my gentle rebuffs are not being heard or fully understood. Thankfully, he lives on the other side of NC and I can get the distance that I need sometimes, but I do think I'm going to have to eventually break his heart.
fatesfolly: (Default)
2023-05-24 11:01 am

I have a daughter

I never wanted kids. Being the baby in a small family, I wasn't exposed to children and I grew up in a world surrounded by adults. As a teenager in a small town, the only real way to make any money was to babysit and I did so begrudgingly. I hated entertaining little people until bedtime or naptime and I felt like the hours before the golden hour of when they would sleep were endless torture. When I started dating my first husband, Lee, I made it clear I did not want kids. Somehow, the fact I wanted an abortion when I found myself pregnant was morally repugnant to him. Nevermind it was pre-marital sex that got us in that pickle!

Somewhere along the way, I came up with the fantastical notion that I wanted to adopt a child when they were 18, given them my name, send them to college, and call them my own. No diapers, runny noses, skinned knees, puberty behavior, or temper tantrums. Sure, it was expensive to send a practical stranger to college, but when did I not spend money?

When I met John, he was the first man I dated who had a child I'd have to meet and interact with. It scared me and it was a source of worry for a while. Ironically, she was 18 at the time and in her first month of her freshman year at college. Her name was Sarah and the fears I had of her being fiercely protective of her father and distrustful of me disappeared the Saturday I met her. She was wonderfully open and welcoming of me. At some point during that first meeting (which was about to weeks after we first started dating), she asked him if I was someone special and he told her I was!

In those early years, Sarah was a lot like I had been and I made the mistake of thinking she'd be like me as she grew. Parents may make this same mistake-- I don't know-- but it has been the source of my greatest frustration until I realized she will be who she is to be. She was shy and awkward. She tended toward the arts. She liked painting and drawing. She liked to travel. She was a big girl and had brown hair the color mine used to be. We would go for pedicures together and the techs would ask if we were mother and daughter. I would be secretly proud of the comment until she would tell them no.

Ah, yes, she still had a mother... John's first wife, Kate. And before I got too carried away with any ideas that Sarah would ever be mine, John would subtly remind me when he'd talk about "his" daughter. As time went on, Sarah and I did things together and I helped to pay her way through undergrad and grad school. I put the bulk of a down payment down on he first new car. She'd call me for advice, whispered secrets to me, and told me things she did not want her dad to know. But always, he'd say "my" daughter.

Sure, I missed the first 18 years of her life, but I've been a steady part of her next 14 years... and more, God willing.

Moving to Morehead after John died has me meeting more people. It's been lonely realizing that all of my direct blood relatives have passed away and I'm the last of the Mohicans. And a question that often pops up is "do you have any children?" At first, I'd say no, but then I realized a fact: I have a daughter. She is my beneficiary in my will. She is the one I think of all the time. She is my connection to John. She loves me and calls me her bonus mom now. And dammit, I have a daughter!
fatesfolly: (Default)
2022-09-13 05:47 pm

I’m in, well kinda sorta

So I moved the week before Labor Day week. And let me tell you, I do not recommend moving twice in nine month's time or moving with a cold.

Amanda was supposed to come help the week before and she took the train to Alexandria, but while on the train, she got word that her coworker had tested positive for Covid. She called me and asked that I meet her at the platform with a Covid test. I did and it was positive, too. So for the next 12 hours, we packed one of my cars, maintained distance, and wore masks. She left early Sunday morning for home, lying to me about how bad she felt. She did not want me to know because she really wanted to recuperate at home and she did not want me to worry.

I called another friend from NC who I knew had free time and an SUV and he came up the next day and I needed the help, emotional support, and vehicle space.

The movers this time did a good job. Partly because I knew what to ask for since I just moved with a mover in December. I bought 2 AirTags just in case and placed them in different boxes so I could track my stuff. They packed everything on Wednesday and were due in Morehead City on Friday. And hells bells, I wanted to know where my shit was. (The tracking was uneventful, except to know when to expect them on my doorstep on Friday morning. The funny part was that one of the AirTags got lost in the packing materials and I did not realize it until they had packed the truck and left. An hour after they left my house, I tracked them to the beach, 5 miles away and on Saturday, the AirTag was in the Lorton landfill. So from beachcomber to landfill in 24 hours.)

Other friends came to help unpack. The downstairs is mostly done… I’d say 85% done. The upstairs is a wreck except for my desk and the area shown on camera behind my desk chair.

I’m getting used to things. Amazon does no same day delivery, let alone next day. That’s been the worst of it. It’s hot and humid, but I do get some onshore wind. The house is bigger than I’ve ever lived in so figuring out how to spread out my stuff has been interesting. The water is an awful yellow color but local Facebook groups say it’s normal and nothing can be done. I don’t have the energy to fight that right now. I do have a reverse osmosis drinking water thingy at my kitchen sink so I’m trying ha4d to remember to drink only that lest I become a Flint, Michigander.

I want to get involved in the community here. I had my first gynecologist appointment yesterday and I really liked her. I have fibroids and an para-ovarian cyst that my Fairfax GYN wanted to yank last fall but I said no because of John. That’s why I prioritized the GYN. The NC GYN wants more imaging to decide what should happen, but I’m guessing she’ll also want to remove it because it had reached the size that protocol called for removal… 9cm. We’ll see.

Oh, and for someone who had gotten used to going to the movies every Tuesday night for half price movie night, the closest movie theater is a three-screen place 13 miles away in the next time. Yay… not.
fatesfolly: (Default)
2022-05-11 08:36 am

What is it about widders??

OK, I have to rant and there's no where else I can do this.

I met this nice fellow week before last when I hired a shipper to get a sofa and ottoman from Richmond to NC. He flirted, it was flattering, so I texted with him. This went on over a week until Monday when he was home and bored and wanted to sext.

Ummm, no. If I could talk dirty, I would not be in the field I'm in now. I'd be a rich romance novelist churning out books. And this is NOT where I thought this was going. In fact, I had not even thought about where this was going because there was no "this."

This comes on the heels of someone else on Sunday... he had texted me a week or so ago. He had been a friend of John's when John and I first met, but they had lost touch. He originally texted to say he was sorry to hear about John. I thanked him and didn't chat much because I don't know him. He'd send random funnies and jokes. Then on Sunday, he texted and said he had always had a crush on me and was horny. He said he was touching himself and wanted to know what I thought about it. Jesus Fucking Christ, man. Really? I gave it to him with both barrels.

I think I have a new rule: no texting with men. You want to talk to me? Fine. Pick up the phone, say what you want to say, and that's it.
fatesfolly: (Default)
2014-11-25 07:04 am

It's as if I have nothing else on my To Do List today!

1. You can ONLY answer 'Yes' or 'No' to each of the question.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks — and, believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming. Nothing is exactly as it seems.

Kissed any one of your LiveJournal friends? — Yes
Been arrested? — No
Kissed someone you didn't like? — Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? — Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? — Yes
Held a snake? — No
Ran a red light? — Yes
Been suspended from school? — No
Experienced love at first sight? — Yes
Totaled your car in an accident? — No
Been fired from a job? — Yes
Fired somebody? — No
Sung karaoke? — No
Pointed a gun at someone? — No
Did something you told yourself you wouldn't? — Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your eyes? — No
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — Yes
Kissed in the rain? — Yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? — No
Saw someone die? — Yes
Played Spin-the-Bottle? — Yes
Smoked a cigar? — No
Sat on a rooftop? — No
Smuggled something into another country? — Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? — Yes
Broken a bone? — Yes
Skipped school? — Yes
Eaten a bug? — No
Sleepwalked? — No
Walked on a moonlit beach? — Yes
Ridden a motorcycle? — Yes
Dumped someone? — Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? — No
Lied to avoid a ticket? — Yes
Ridden in a helicopter? — Yes
Shaved your head? — No
Blacked out from drinking? — Yes
Played a prank on someone? — Yes
Hit a home run? — Yes
Felt like killing someone? — No
Cross-dressed? — No
Been falling-down drunk? — Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? — Yes
Eaten snake? — No (What's with the fascination with sankes?)
Marched/protested? — No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — No
Puked on an amusement ride? — No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — No
Been in a band? - No
Knitted? — Yes
Been on TV? — No
Shot a gun? — Yes
Skinny-dipped? — Yes
Given someone stitches? — No
Eaten a whole habanero pepper? — No
Ridden a surfboard? — No
Drunk straight from a liquor bottle? — Yes
Had surgery? — Yes
Streaked? — No
Been taken by ambulance to a hospital? — No
Tripped on mushrooms? — No
Peed on a bush? — No
Donated blood? — Yes
Grabbed electric fence? - No
Eaten alligator meat? - No
Eaten cheesecake? — Yes
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? — No
Killed an animal when NOT hunting? — No
Peed your pants in public? — No
Snuck into a movie without paying? — Yes
Written graffiti? — Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't? — No
Think about the future? — Yes
Been in handcuffs? — Yes
Believe in love? — Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? — Yes
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-04-09 09:49 am

A funny thing happened in Lane Bryant

A co-worker wears this really cool skirt that's really a black tennis skort. She looks very summery while still being business casual. A couple of years back, I asked her where she got them and she said they were Nike tennis skorts. Knowing Nike apparel runs small, I thanked her and never pursued it. Last week, she visited me in my office and told me that since she had gained weight, she could no longer wear the Nike skort and that she had found one at Lane Bryant. "COOLIO!" I said and promptly ordered one for me. I chose the free shipping option where they ship the item to the local store. Over the weekend, they notified me that it was in.

Yesterday was my birthday and I took the day off from work.  It was a ME day. And so somewhere around late morning, I toodled over to Kingstowne to pick up my skort. I pulled into the parking lot and spied a car coming out of a space. I lined up my car in the row and waited for her to maneuver her land barge out of the space. As soon as she cleared the space, this little black Infinity came around the opposite corner and pulled into the space. Ooooooo this burned my butt. I pulled around to the other side and parked a few spaces further down. I had to walk past her car to get to the store and when I did, I noticed she was still sitting in the car with the engine on and texting. As I passed by her window, I said, "Well that was a bitch thing to do!" and kept walking.

So I go inside and wait at the counter. I give my name and it takes a while for the sales girl to get my package. Once I sign for it, I asked if I could try it on in the dressing room. She said sure and helped me find a dressing room. Now I'm doing all this at a leisurely pace. I get the skort on, it looks decent and I wonder if they have any cute tops to go with it so I head back out to the sales floor with the skort on.

I slowly make my way to the front corner of the store when this large woman blocks my path and says, "Did you call me a bitch?" I'm taken aback, having mostly forgotten about it since it had been at least 10 minutes prior and being a little shocked at having someone acost me. I figured out pretty quickly who she was and I said, "Why yes, I did." You stole my parking place that I had been waiting for." She said she had seen the woman pull out of the spot and pulled around to get it. I replied that I had been waiting for her to pull out. She quickly came back to the bitch comment. "You don't call me a bitch," her voice was getting louder. She also inched forward to intimidate me. She was striking distance. So I called her on it. I asked if she was going to hit me.

And you know what comes out of her mouth next??? The pulled the god damned race card. She yelled "You only said that because I'm BLACK!"

Again, I was shocked. And I don't do well on my feet. My lame ass response was  "No, I said that because you are too close to me."

OMG, a thousand other responses came to my head afterward....

Like "No, I said it because you're FAT!" was my favorite because after all, with the ridiculous nature of her question, I later thought she should have received an equally ridiculous response because we're both fat and both standing in the fat woman's mecca.

But back to the altercation. She continued on the earlier route of "You don't call me a btich!"

Meanwhile, I'm still walking around the store, trying to get away from her AND trying to look as if I'm still browsing the clothes and that she's not intimidating the hell out of me. I turn around each time she says this and tell her that first of all, I didn't call her a bitch... what I said was she did a bitch thing and 2nd of all, I really can call her whatever the hell I want because she did a rude thing that was inexcusable.

She FINALLY walked off, still yelling that I can't call her a bitch and as she left the store, she said something to the sales girl who was straightening clothes near the front door. She left the store and I went to the front window to see if she was headed to my car to do some damage to it in some way. She had walked the other way though.

The sales girl asked if we were old rivals or something. I replied that no, she had swiped my parking space, I had called her a bitch for it and she had stalked me into the store to verbally assault me.

By the time I got back into my clothes and left the store, she was gone from her spot and my car was scratch-free and my tires appeared to not have been touched.

It was a weird situation, but what pissed me off most of all was the race card. I was mad at her for what she did to me not because of the color of her skin. I would have called it a bitch move had she been any color of the rainbow. I told John later and he said that as white people, we are conditioned to not say anything about race. That she thought it was all about race may be her conditioning to believe that it is all about the color of her skin. Because of this and what happened to me at my company under my previous manager, I truly believe that the Civil War is not just being held on to by white supremacists like my brother though they're the ones who mainly get blamed for carrying on bigotry. Some black people cannot let it go either, forever thinking it's the white man (or in this case, woman) always trying to keep them down. And GOD, I hate that just as much as I despise my brother's bigotry.
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-03-08 09:17 am

The hits keep coming

John's cellulits is NOT going away, despite topical creams and 3 rounds of different antibiotics in the past month, both oral and 2 in the butt. In fact, the cellulitis is growing again.

So, when his class is over at noon, he will drive himself to a hospital and request IV therapy. This is incredibly stressful, having your love in a hospital hundreds of miles away. I checked Travelocity last night and I could have secured a flight to Chicago tonight for $220 RT that would return me here Monday morning. When I told him about it, he was adamant that I not come. That we don't have the money, that it's not fair to Normie to leave him, that he can handle it on his own.

Ugh! Men!

In other news, I get to meet Wife #2 for the first time in 3.5 years on Sunday. She was the one with John when they adopted Clyde and Normie was her pick, despite John not wanting a Terrier or a puppy. When he called her Sunday to break the news of Clyde's death, my heart went out to her and I told John that if she wanted a Norman fix, I would be available for her to come by to visit while he was gone for the next month. She left a message on the home machine yesterday and last night, we set Sunday afternoon as the time she'll come over.

I'm wondering now how to make this less awkward.
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-03-07 08:32 am

Is it the piss and vinegar stage of grief?

Today after work, I take back the unused portions of Clyde's food and un-opened meds to the vet. Norman has been grieving more than I thought a little dog could grieve. Last night, John and I Skyped for a while and every time John called out to Norman, Norman would ignore the computer and run to the door. It was sad. He's still not eating very well and his tail hardly wags, even when I try to engage him in play.
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I'm not sure why people bitch about fact the storm was not as bad as they predicted. I know a lot of money and science has gone into weather prediction, but Mother Nature is still Mother Nature. (I still remember the Chiffon margarine commercials where the spokesperson would say, "You cannot fool Mother Nature.") So I had a day at home. So VRE didn't run and the train tracks that run parallel beside my neighborhood were silent. So the area slowed down a little bit and had a chance to breathe. I'm sick of people saying that meteorologists are Chicken Littles. Fuck you for claiming to be perfect in what you do for a living.
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Speaking of Mother Nature and the effects, is your arm broken or maimed to the point you cannot clean off the roof of your car?? I saw countless potential wrecks this morning from flying sheets of ice and snow on the beltway. Thoughtless people piss me off.
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I slept on my left wrist in some weird, mangled way last night and today, it feels tight and cranky. Hey-- just like me!




This post has been brought to you by the lack of caffeine.
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-01-24 02:29 pm

Disappointment with a positive spin

The first Fall that I dated John, he was always keen on seeing the Va Tech football games. Later, I found out that a co-worker's son played for them. Well, kinda played for them... it seems that the coach would rather play certain other kids over selecting Jake to play in key plays... even though Jake made the tackles and stopped the yardage just as good as his competitors on his own team.

That year, Jake had had enough. He had gone to Tech from a high school in Fredericksburg to play for a team he had supported and loved and here they were not supporting him. The next year, he transferred to the University of South Alabama in Mobile. The team was one in transition and he'd definitely get playing time. For the next 3 seasons (loophole in the eligibility rules and transferring.... I can explain if you care), he led the team in tackles and often led the conference, too. Last year, he was named the equivalent of best male player of any sport at USA. NFL scouts started attending the little school's games. And despite their poor scoring record, the scouts still came to see Jake make the other school's offense stop.

Jake graduated in December with enough graduate level classes to have 2 classes shy of an MBA. He hired an agent and started aiming for the NFL draft in April. Online prognosticators had him at everything from a solid draft pick to borderline, mainly because of the small school he came from. Throughout his college career, he went largely unscathed, injury-wise and he kept his nose clean. He was a good student and a good man.

Somewhere in there, I friended him on Facebook. He sweetly accepted my friend request. I watched while he dated a local girl and I saw his occasional posts on mundane things. After he got the agent, they moved him from Mobile to Atlanta to train for one of the regional combines, the several day-long test of physical strength and agility, mental acuity, and speed. Two weeks ago, he received an invitation to play in the NFLPA Bowl in California. It's not the Shrine Bowl which hosts the big names, but it's the Shrine Bowl's little sister. Players at the next level down hailing from small schools mainly play in it. John and I tuned in on Saturday to watch and Jake got 4 tackles.

He returned to Atlanta on Monday and it was then that he heard that he was a late add to the Senior Bowl in Mobile. The Senior Bowl is reportedly on the level with the Shrine Bowl. Big names may or may not play, but the scouts are there and it's another chance to showcase your abilities in a game situation. Jake was thrilled to be returning to his home stadium where he had played for the last 3 years, and also the host venue to the 2013 Senior Bowl.

Monday night and Tuesday, his facebook page was filled with congrats  from friends and pictures he posted of the swag Under Armour gave to the players. He was so cute, yet still humble and excited.

Last night, I wanted to show John the pictures so we surfed over to his page and saw the bad news... in practice yesterday, he ruptured his achilles tendon. From his posts, he was upset, but still optimistic and positive. John learned today at work from Jake's dad that he's enrolled back in school to get those two classes he needs for his MBA, he's got surgery scheduled for next week to repair the tendon, and he hopes he'll be fit in time for the NFL's mini camps this summer. He'll miss the draft, but there's still a chance.

I really like that he switched gears so fast from yesterday's big (surely painful) injury and disappointment over losing the chance at the big leagues in the draft to registering for the needed classes and looking forward to mini camps. This kid is 23, but that's the emotional maturity of someone twice his age.
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-01-08 08:20 am

Let's try this again, Part 2

W are lissfully happy watching tv on the couch, but during commercials, we've found this stuff we'd like to sell. It's currently up on Craigslist, but ping me if you're interested in something. You know Grandma's Xmas money is burning a hole in your pocket!

Semi dry wetsuit XXL 120

Focal 10" Car Sub Woofer 50

Oakworks Massage Table- Boss CS2 125

Softball Stuff- Asst Bats Balls, Gloves 40

Empi Pro Max Tens unit 150

Empi Epix VT Tens Unit 75

Folbot Non-folding Kayak 200

Nathan Water Bottles Quest Hydration Pack/Camelba - $30
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-01-08 07:54 am

Let's try these links again!

We are blissfully happy watching tv on the couch, but during commercials, we've found this stuff we'd like to sell. It's currently up on Craigslist, but ping me if you're interested in something. You know Grandma's Xmas money is burning a hole in your pocket!

Semi dry wetsuit XXL $120

Focal 10" Car Sub Woofer $50

Oakworks Massage Table- Boss CS2 $125

Softball Stuff- Asst Bats Balls, Gloves $40

Empi Pro Max Tens unit $150

Empi Epix VT Tens Unit $75

Folbot Non-folding Kayak $200

Nathan Water Bottles Quest Hydration Pack/Camelbac - $30
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-01-07 11:45 am

For Petrona

John e io sono beatamente felice e we stai seduto sul divano a guardare la TV
fatesfolly: (character)
2013-01-07 10:42 am

Not Going Anywhere

I know a lot of folks are migrating to Dreamwidth. Me? If LJ shits the bed, I'll take it as a sign that it's time to stop 'blogging.' Come on-- really? As if I'd made a decent post in the last year that didn't contain bullets? And as a friend pointed out... how many different ways can I say that John and I are blissfully happy and we're sitting on the couch watching TV?
fatesfolly: (screamin mimis)
2011-06-08 03:36 pm

I've always hated golf

I think next week, I'll hate it even more.

The US Open will be at Congressional CC and there are travel advisories for my route during the exact times I travel it.

Fuck you, golfers.
fatesfolly: (flying pig)
2010-10-20 02:48 pm

Bully this

Bullying for me came in the form of sandy blond bowl-cut haired boy atop a banana bike... My own Scott Farkus on Graham Drive. Barry Oakes put the lyrics to the ditty "Holly Holly Fat and Jolly" and terrorized me from the time I could leave my driveway by myself until we graduated high school.

I saw him several years later in a bar in Greenville. It was one of my skinny years and I walked over to him, asked if he knew who I was and when he said he did, I only said, "Good." I sashayed away knowing I was better than he'd ever be.

The other one I've never forgiven. He blackmailed me into doing things a 3rd grader shouldn't do. Our mothers were best friends and I never said a word. But if I saw him today, my inclination would be to kick him in the teeth for the damage he did so early. Bully this, you bastard.

It does get better. Eventually.