Just how fat was [am] I?
Nov. 19th, 2004 02:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fatesfollyRichard Dawson used to host a game show in the 70s that he'd start a line of questioning by saying Fat Frannie was so fat, she could blank the blank.
I'm at the 50 pound mark or just a little bit over. I've worked my butt off for this wedding this weekend, knowing I'll see many people I knew in high school. I've agonized over the wardrobe. I've fretted over everything.
I don't have a good body image. This time, I'm not talking so much mentally but I really don't have a good idea of what I look like. I try to avoid the mirrors at the gym and when I do yoga, I choose a spot on the floor where there are no mirrors. At home, a mirror is used mainly to check for spinach between my teeth and to make sure my slip is not showing in the back.
I have noticed subtle differences in my body since I switched my workout routine. My legs are looking a lot better. My torso is leaner. My face is less full. These changes caused some pre-mature self confidence that was knocked back down at lunch.
Today was the bridesmaids' luncheon that Jane and I gave Kim. After lunch, we gathered outside on the steps for some photos. And until I brought my camera home to download the photos, I had no idea how bad I looked. It led me to echo over and over inside my head, "How fat was I???" I mean I still look huge and it was one of the outfits I've been working so hard to get into! When I left the house, I felt like I was "knocking them dead," but when I saw the photos, I wondered about the answers to the "Fat Holly was [and still is] so fat that she could blank the blank."
I'm at the 50 pound mark or just a little bit over. I've worked my butt off for this wedding this weekend, knowing I'll see many people I knew in high school. I've agonized over the wardrobe. I've fretted over everything.
I don't have a good body image. This time, I'm not talking so much mentally but I really don't have a good idea of what I look like. I try to avoid the mirrors at the gym and when I do yoga, I choose a spot on the floor where there are no mirrors. At home, a mirror is used mainly to check for spinach between my teeth and to make sure my slip is not showing in the back.
I have noticed subtle differences in my body since I switched my workout routine. My legs are looking a lot better. My torso is leaner. My face is less full. These changes caused some pre-mature self confidence that was knocked back down at lunch.
Today was the bridesmaids' luncheon that Jane and I gave Kim. After lunch, we gathered outside on the steps for some photos. And until I brought my camera home to download the photos, I had no idea how bad I looked. It led me to echo over and over inside my head, "How fat was I???" I mean I still look huge and it was one of the outfits I've been working so hard to get into! When I left the house, I felt like I was "knocking them dead," but when I saw the photos, I wondered about the answers to the "Fat Holly was [and still is] so fat that she could blank the blank."
