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Mar. 26th, 2004 11:07 amI feel like a parent who has taken her daughter to her first overnight summer camp. I cried until the hot water ran out in the shower last night, afraid of what I had done and fearful the steps that had been taken were not right.
I'm pissy that Lee has not taken any initiative to be a part of this whole mess. That's a whole OTHER story.
And I'm now a layman's expert on bedsores... pressure sores. Fuckers at the hospital did not mention them to me or Le and so when asked upon check-in to the nursing home if she had any, I said no. So when I was giving her a bath last night and putting her gown on, I discovered them... I was on the verge of losing it. I was tired.. both emotionally and physically and seeing them had me pinching the hell out of my thigh, trying not to show my tears to Granny or the nurse I ran and got to come see. The nurse came in, declared them Stage 1, and told me they'd treat them in the morning. I got home, did my research and they're not Stage 1... I'd say Stage 2. And definitely something they should have mentioned at the hospital. She did not have them before she went.
She also has a UTI. Another something she did not have before the hospital.
Le's going home this weekend to be with his family. Bunny has his pinewood derby thing. I envy him for being able to escape to another world.
Everything I do is tinged with thoughts of her now. I cannot have a normal conversation without my mind relating something back to her. The book on tape I bought to purposefully evade the damn beg-a-thon on the local public radio station has to be rewound a dozen times, because my mind wanders. Lee touched my breast in bed the other night and my mind went to her pitiful breast. I pushed him away.
sigh
I'm pissy that Lee has not taken any initiative to be a part of this whole mess. That's a whole OTHER story.
And I'm now a layman's expert on bedsores... pressure sores. Fuckers at the hospital did not mention them to me or Le and so when asked upon check-in to the nursing home if she had any, I said no. So when I was giving her a bath last night and putting her gown on, I discovered them... I was on the verge of losing it. I was tired.. both emotionally and physically and seeing them had me pinching the hell out of my thigh, trying not to show my tears to Granny or the nurse I ran and got to come see. The nurse came in, declared them Stage 1, and told me they'd treat them in the morning. I got home, did my research and they're not Stage 1... I'd say Stage 2. And definitely something they should have mentioned at the hospital. She did not have them before she went.
She also has a UTI. Another something she did not have before the hospital.
Le's going home this weekend to be with his family. Bunny has his pinewood derby thing. I envy him for being able to escape to another world.
Everything I do is tinged with thoughts of her now. I cannot have a normal conversation without my mind relating something back to her. The book on tape I bought to purposefully evade the damn beg-a-thon on the local public radio station has to be rewound a dozen times, because my mind wanders. Lee touched my breast in bed the other night and my mind went to her pitiful breast. I pushed him away.
sigh
